My best advice is from Guy Kawasaki who has offered this advice to everyone through speeches and it’s also in Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actionsbut I’ve had the opportunity to discuss with him personally so I have a deeper personal understanding.
Guy’s advice, “Become a baker, not an eater. For an “eater,” the world is a zero sum game. There is a limited pie with only so many pieces. A “baker,” however, looks at the world in terms of “Wow. I can bake more pies. I can bake bigger pies. I can bake cookies. I can bake cakes.” This philosophy applies not only to communication, of course, but to every aspect of selling as well.”
The part that wasn’t clear for me was the “zero sum game” section. A zero sum game is “zero-sum game is a mathematical representation of a situation in which a participant's gain (or loss) of utility is exactly balanced by the losses (or gains) of the utility of the other participant(s).” This selfish attitude doesn’t build relationships with others or build trust. The eater is a competitive person who feels like they need all the pie. While being competitive isn’t always a bad thing, feeling like if others succeed it will hinder your success doesn’t lend itself to growth.
A baker believes they can always make more pie and that the pie won’t run out. Their generous, giving spirit helps others bake their own pie and even shares their pie. If you can always make more, you have an endless supply of pie. No need to be selfish. Being a baker allows you to grow and enrich other’s lives as you share your ideas.